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Quick Buck?

Quick Buck fortified wine biscuits
Quick Buck fortified wine biscuits
Quick Buck 140g

I get a lot of fun suggestions for biscuits flavours. There’s always the common ones of course, gin, sherry, port etc. Some of those are in development right now, but the one that caught my interest last year, was a particularly famous brand of fortified wine.

Instagrammer Eoin made the suggestion (and subsequently received the very first box in production). The tricky part, is it’s so famous, it can’t be named. I know, bananas, but it’s a legal thing. I can’t piggy back off another brands’ name. But I can tell you, the biscuits are called “Quick Buck”, and they’re made with a Fortified Wine that’s produced in Devon, England, and it has a worldwide reputation for being infamous.

It also has a great selection of colloquial names, such as “bucky/buccy/buckie”, “wreck the hoose juice”, “lurgan champagne”, “commotion lotion” and more locally in Ireland, “bottle of stuff”.

None of these names were particularly suited to a product label, and the term “champagne” is protected in law, reserved for select French wineries and thanks to an agreement from World War 2, a few wineries in California.

I had never tried the wine until it was suggested, but I was surprised by it’s pleasant caramel colour, which incidentally looks really well on the biscuits. (Any flavour which doesn’t require an artificial colour is always welcome). Oddly, the bottle declares a high alcohol content and a high caffeine content, but doesn’t provide any ingredients other than fortified wine.

For my early biscuits, the ingredients were straight forward, with a paper based analysis sufficient to provide all of the ingredient and nutritional values, subject to verification by a lab before launch. But these were different. These called for some specialist testing. So off they went, post shelf life testing, they were submitted to a food analysis lab for a nutritional break down.

The results weren’t particularly surprising, but the key element here is accuracy. I couldn’t find any paper based analysis which provided a breakdown of the wine. It has always been (and for the foreseeable future will remain) a drink with a little mystery about it.

And the taste? I can’t say I’d drink a full “bottle of stuff”, but the biscuits are definitely tasty, and just a little bit mysterious.